You go and tell me you're not classy, that you won't let me down. What do you do after 5 minutes? IGNORE. Seriously, if you even want ANYTHING to happen, I HIGHLY recommend you to start showing atleast a bit of interest and maybe care a bit more? Right now, ALL i can say is.. FUCK YOU.

I realised that I even had a blog since Kina told me I should blog more often. But now I'm just so busy with everything that I don't have the time and energy to. It's been 2 months since I last saw her. Exactly TWO months. That's 62 days. Which is long. And there's about 4 more months till I see her again.

I went to a movie yesterday. With my bestfriend here, her boyfriend and my..friend. I still don't know what we are cause I don't really know if I want to make it a thing or not. Cause the thing is, he lives in KL. But I'm over here right now, and I'm not going to try long distance again. Not oven over my head body I will. So now we're just like talking and yeah. But I like him, i like him a lot. So it's hard. And everyone says I should try. And when I go back I can be with him. But he leaves in April to Australia, so that wouldn't really work either. I'm kinda hopeless right now, and I thought about it a lot yesterday, but then I realised that if I never gave it a shot then I'll always have that in mind. Like what would've happened if we tried. If we gave it a shot. So after a lot of time thinking and whining on the phone last night, i decided to have an open mind set. So wherever he's willing to take it, I'd be fine. We've been talking since April this year, so I guess it's been okay since we've tried long distance for two months.
Note to self: Ask him what we are.

Mm, I'm going to my bestfriends house to buka puasa today. I don't really say buka puasa but the only people who read this are from KL so whatevs. Yeah, so anyway I have to make something so i'm planing on making biscuit pudding. I love how chocolatey it is. I made a whole tray yesterday and I only have a little bit left now. And apparently people are coming over to buka puasa today.
Speaking of which, theres this girl who comes to break fast EVERY SINGLE DAY. and i don't particularly like her, and i don't really talk to her, so now my mom makes me do it. but it's kinda hard talking to someone you don't like and don't have similar interests to. Like she likes stuff like motorcycles and weird things. And she's very..sombong so it's VERY hard for me to talk to her. I like the fact that a lot of people invite me over to their houses for buka. I don't have to stay at home. And we go for a walk near the beach later. Like last night I bumped into SO MANY people I know, including Sophian who I keep forgetting to call and who's grown a lot taller since the last time I saw him. Yes, I should text him now just so he can't say that I never replied. I think it's been like a month since he texted. And apparently he called but I didn't want to call him then cause some other people were here and I didn't want to associate with them in ANYWAY.

It really sucks how people can't just keep stuff to themselves. Like I told my ex something I don't tell everyone. And he met a friend mine and told him about it and through him someone else found out and I finally found out that he even talked about it. I wanted to call him, and yell my guts out cause god knows how much he had twisted it. But then no, I didn't, cause i didn't want to talk to him, in anyway.

this is a rather long post so I'm going to stop now. I have to go help my mom remove some stain or something off her dress she hasn't even worn. Ugh i hate my maid here! messed up my very expensive pair of jeans the next DAY i came here and i had only worn it once. Meh.

Oh and Kina, I miss you. We're not tanning on the moon, we're just as bored as you are and I want to go back to KL to some normal people now. I've had enough of Maldives. I miss you and I love you! :) <3

So, I never really check my formspring unless Sam asks me to check mine after raping it. And today she asked me to check hers for some reason so I went on mine and so a lot of ridiculous questions;;


you have a big nose. why?
2 hours ago

do you like earniey?
4 hours ago

coward.
6 hours ago

why the fuck do you have an h at the back of ur name? cant u just tel me?
yesterday

i dont get it? why do you manipulate people into liking u?
yesterday

uhhm why are you getting tensed rayah? did earniey own your ass in school or something? i dont remember, mustve been funny. did she tell you not to say these things? lol aw


Such a shame, isn't it? Hiding behind the computer screen saying whatever you want at whoever you want. You know, it's people like you that I laugh at everyday. People like you who won't go far in life. So please, don't even bother asking me things anymore cause I'm not going to answer them. If you're so tough why don't you just come and say things to my face instead of hiding behind all this. Or even click that little button that says "Include Your User Info" show everyone how tough you really are.

And jeez. Cant people have last names which start with the same letter?! Get over yourself. No one is copying anyone. Get your facts right before you start accusing people of stupid things.

My formspring questions will be answered by Sam for whoever who wants to get any replies from me. But please, I think you really should find something more interesting to do than hiding behind your little screen.

Wow.

I don't even know where to start. Well, my exams started exactly a week ago and I've done 4 papers so far. All of it was good, except for today. I thought it was pretty good, it was mostly common sense so yeah. But the JaeBeom said it was really difficult, so I was a bit confused. Oh well, easy for me. Tomorrow's chemistry. That's the only subject I am scared for. And guess what? I've been siting here besides the laptop the whole day. I only studied at night. For a while. Then ended up watching How I Met Your Mother with my mom. She didn't even ask me to go study. Weird. She said I've been studying too much these days. Weirder. Oh well ;D

Yesterday was Aisha's surprise party. Sam was the only one who yelled out "surprise" Loser. HAHAH, i kid. :) It was fun. Even though I only stayed for an hour. I had to come back for tuition. Bleh. But it was nice catching up with her after the longest time and seeing both Sam and Aisha together. We haven't hung out in so long. ><

Yeah so back to me being in front of the laptop. I've been talking to a friend the whole day. He's so nice and fun to talk to. And a good listener. I can tell him whatever I want and still talk to him normally. He doesn't judge. And he gives good advice. He's pretty much like a brother. I NEVER HAD. >_>

Ah, I almost forgot. I made up with my bestfriend since 3rd grade on Friday. It was very confusing and rather weird actually. But I'm glad we did. At least that's out of the picture. Friendships which are meant to be always find their way back to our lives. So I'm not going to try and talk to the people who're being immature and accusing me of doing things I had no idea I was doing. They apparently know about my life better than I do. Thanks. A lot.

I love Sanam Rahman (: She's always been there for me. No matter what. And like she said in her blog, even though we have our minor fights, but that's what keeps our relationship healthy. :) <3 <3 Oh and I want the pictures from yesterday pleasse. :) She's a good listener too. Hahah, and very weird. Even though I think my ability to make her purse walk is weird, she's weirder. I mean who has a purse that could walk? What the shizz :)

Ima go sleep now. Toodle.

The best friend <3

i have this weird urge to blog. Oh well. It's kinda addictive, I guess.

I went out with littlee today. To megamall cause we had some stuff to do and yeahs. Went to art friend cause it's an unwritten rule of mine. Every time I go to midvalley I HAVE to go to art friend. Well, I can't come out of the place in less than 15 minutes without spending over a 50. I spent about...70 bucks in art friend. ><>

Had the best pizza ever for lunch with little, littles bfriend and bfriend :).

BEST.PIZZA.EVER.

No shit.

Yeah, so i came home after that. B dropped me home. Slept for a while, woke up and did 3 chemistry past years and one physics past year. I haven't been doing biology at all. ><

I'm working on my art now. Mr. Lim called me in the morning to tell me that he wont be going to school today. Thanks for waking me up -.-

Watching when in rome with Sam tomorrow! Yay! :)

So yesterday, I found out so so sooo many things about someone.

Disappointment. People never fail to disappoint me, ever. And today things were back to normal. Like nothing ever happened. Like we didn't even have that conversation. I can't do that. I called, I yelled. I hung up. She called back, cried, asked me to forgive and forget. I don't forget. But I forgive. Because she needs me, more than anything right now. And she told me that she is going to be there for me no matter what. Even if I killed someone, she's going to yell at me, call me stupid. But she's still going to be there. People should learn from their mistakes. And people should forgive others for their mistakes. What's the point in life when everything is perfect? It doesn't have to be. It shouldn't be.

Well, I just said I can't be the same. I can't act like nothing ever happened. Like she is the person everyone thinks she is. Because it is all a lie. But I did tell her that I'll be here too. Even if it is 4am in the morning, I'll still be there. Just don't, don't do it again. Once is okay, but I think we're all old enough to learn from our mistakes.

Do it again, and we're done.

A leaf is green. You can paint it, make it look like something else, but it will still be green on the inside. No matter what.